23 July 2012
The first task I had to sort out today was the muddle. I managed to get myself into over the 14-17 July entries to this blog. It is all to do with trying to respect the wishes of my reader, Penny de Quincey, in publishing details of her husband’s last days, an immensely personal but frank comment that deserved more exposure than a mere comment attached to an entry. It was for this reason I had to revise the editorial of those 4 entries and then found that they were out of date order, so I sent an SOS to the blog administrator, Richard Morris, who, as usual, responded virtually straightaway and sorted out the mess for me. Thanks Richard, as always, I am eternally grateful when you stepping to rescue me from some nonsense or other I have got myself into in this blog.
I had also left a message on ‘Paul the computer’s’ cellphone and Paul dropped in, late afternoon, after a very busy day in his Works and did some final fine tuning on the recently corrected entries.
I don’t care how often I thank my lucky stars for having such good friends as Richard and Paul, who, when my weakened state makes mountains out of molehills, calm me down and smooth my way -better than any medication.
Three quarters of an hour before my midday carer was due we were visited by Doctor Margaret Saunders (head of the Arthur Rank Hospice in Cambridge).. Regular readers will know about Margaret and her role as one of my key advisers on palliative care. We had little enough time to discuss my present concerns. but in terms of priority, one was to source a comfortable male commode, which would fit into the shower room and secondly, assuming we cannot get the Roho cushion to work properly, then produce for me a slightly more comfortable cushion, then the Roho one which I think must have slow puncture. Margaret knows that we have been battling to get a decent commode, over the past two or three months, which is quite ridiculous. Recognising the difference between male and female someone must’ve designed a suitable male version which is all we want, it was not really asking too much. As to the Roho cushion – about which I have written much in previous entries – I just need Richard, the local representative, to check it out for me. The point is that the last two or three hours of each day, sitting on two bones (as my backside seems to have disappeared) is very uncomfortable and puts me into a miserable state. Margaret has always said that there is no need for any of her patients to be uncomfortable, or in pain, so she will research the cushion situation and revert. She has also undertaken to review my medication in the light of the agitation from which I am beginning to suffer. We have Lorazepam -medication to calm down anxious patients. Margaret is quite happy for us to use this medication ad hoc but not as part of my daily input. As a result of our conversation today, Margaret will review my situation and arrange a further consultation.
I have been advised, for sometime now, by the doctors at Papworth, to have a rest in the afternoon, for half an hour to an hour, using the respirator, which should have the effect of calming down any anxiety and preserving my energy. I tried this this afternoon, whilst ‘my lovely’ was out and Jane ‘the sheep’ was babysitting me, Jane competently dealt with the respirator and I must admit, after an hour so, when I returned to my laptop, I did feel stronger and more able to face up to the work I had to do.
Talking of feeling impotent. Click here and imagine yourself having the task of felling these massive trees and then cutting them into reasonable handling lengths, all without the help of a chainsaw!