16 July 2011

Chloe was a great help this afternoon and assisted me to bring the printed version of this blog up-to-date. I have made three hard copies from the very beginning  -one for each of the children and one for ‘my lovely’ – so  that there will always be a record for any future member of the family who might be interested. I don’t expect much of this present generation but who knows in 100 years time someone might find it of interest.

With the British /Open in full swing I thought the following little golf story would be apposite Recently a friend of mine was invited to play in a golf tournament..’No thanks, ’he said, ‘I’m already play 2 or 3 times a week.’Then they said  ‘Come on, it’s for handicapped and blind kids.’Then he thought… ‘Wow , I could win this’!!. I can categorically confirm that the person invited a was definitely not either Griggsy or John Gray!

As for the British Open itself the weather was atrocious today, rain and swirling wind. It was an entirely different game to that of yesterday with double and treble bogeys prevailing and anyone getting par was very happy and with a birdie they were up  absolutely delighted. The irony was that the players with the worst scores went off early in the morning and had to suffer the appalling weather throughout their round, whereas the best players went last when the rain had virtually stopped and had for easier conditions to play in. What’s known in golfing terms as ‘the rub of the green’. The field is still very tightly bunched at the top of the leader board  and any of the first 20 names or so could still win it tomorrow. Our man Rory McIlroy – winner of the US Open -  is 5 behind the leader and although not an insuperable mountain to climb he will have his work cut out,

I’m ashamed to say that with the weather outside being than less enticing I was perfectly happy to stay indoors and, after finishing our updating task, spend some time watching the golf. Of course, on the whole, the Americans are just not used to playing in this sort of weather although, in the event, in this particular tournament ,they fared better than the British players -the world number one and two having missed the cut.

I played at Aberdovey golf club in North Wales, for around 40 years. This is a typical links course running along the edge of the sea and invariably there was a strong wind blowing on most days. Being Wales it was also, more often than not, bucketing down with rain. Every August they had a Men’s week with a competition morning and afternoon and in 1977 I was fortunate enough to ruin the Cave Silver Medal for you lowest medal score ever 36 holes (135, five under par). In those days all 36 holes were thoughtlessly played on in one day – something like  9½. Hours of golf in atrocious weather.

The wind and rain driving almost horizontally from the first tee  and by the time I reached the first green  was already pretty well soaked through, winning the prospect of yet another 35 holes to go. It was on occasions like that and I agree with my friend Plantagenet Somerset Fry  -a failed history student from Cambridge -who, aping Oscar Wilde, used to say that ‘whenever I get the urge to exercise, ideas lie down until it passes off’.  The maddening thing about Aberdovey is that when you reached the ninth hole, at the furthest part of the course, the wind would often swing round and you find yourself fighting it the way back home as well.. I suppose what I’m trying to say is that I don’t feel too sorry for these young golfers I’ve been there and got the T-shirt!

15 July 2011

I started my day with yet another long session with the voice activation people, Dragon. Despite having reinstalled the original Version 11 and gone through the training again the programme still failed to recognise the difference between commands and text. I was fortunate enough to speak to the senior technician who did some more tweaking on the programme and kindly agreed to send me Version11.5, which, once installed , will hopefully overcome my problem.

Reverting to the more topical issue of hacking into people’s mobile phones and the demise of the News of the World, the chief executive of News International, Rebecca Brook,‘has fallen on her sword’ and resigned as as the chairman. These resignations coming two days in advance of the time when Rupert Murdoch and his son James is summoned before a parliamentary committee and I assume that Murdoch believes that these resignations would take some of the heat out of the situation. The resignation of the Chief Executive of News International, who was edito,r, of the News of the World, at the time when this malpractice took place, I suspect knew more about what was going on the, to date, she has been prepared to admit.

We are now in the second day of the British Open (golf). Great things were expected from. our man Rory McIlroy, having come hot foot from his famous win at the US Open. He finished the second day four shots behind the leader so is still in with a reasonable chance.

John Lebus kindly dropped to see me this afternoon and we watched a bit of the golf together.

Edward Oliver, who, since I lost the use of my hands, has kindly been filling in in my tax return for me, had called to speak to the Inland Revenue today and as a result they decided I needed to fill in a different form, a more comprehensive return than the one I had done for ever. Why on earth they need to change things at my time of life I really cannot imagine but there is no arguing with them. Apparently it’s all because the amount of income from foreign investments exceeds £300

Good news concerning our erstwhile driver, Barry, who the readers will recall was taken into intensive care the day after we returned from the wedding in Cornwall. Although we are still to discover precisely what was the problem we have heard from Barry himself that he is on the way back and is in intensive physiotherapy.

Holly’s wheelchairs. turned up trumps. Mark, one of the technicians, designed and made a bespoke plastic tray, which is excellent. He came today to alter it and at the same time made one or two other adjustments to the setting of the chair. Nothing ever seems to be too much trouble for these people. I consider myself extremely fortunate.

My darling daughter Chloe came to spend tonight and tomorrow with us. Like Smiler she makes a point of coming down fairly regularly to see me and, of course, her mother. IIn the old days, before the MND, I used to make it my business to go and visit the family every 4 to 6 weeks and Alice would meet Chloe and Smiler in London once a month or so, none of which is any longer possible so it is lovely when they takes time off from their busy lives to come and see us both.

14 July 2011

A mainly medical entry. Ever since I have ceased trying to struggle from one room to the other using my pulpit frame my legs have clearly got weaker by their non-use. As a result the joints are stiffer from lack of exercise and this is one of the causes of pain at night in bed. The good Dr Michael, whilst he was here the other day, prescribed two 100 mg of Tramadol (a slow release painkiller) jn addition to the painkillers I’m already taking, which he happened to have in his medicine bag. Apparently they have a cumulative effect and I can say that after two or three nights of using them most of the pain has disappeared.

On the runny nose front the amitriptyline, prescribed by my palliative care doctor, Dr Margaret Saunders, to assist my sleeping, also have a secretory effect and have certainly improved this irritating problem.

Finally, as is quite common with quadriplegics, the lack of movement in the lower body, sitting all day in a chair or wheelchair tends to make one constipated. I have certainly had trouble in that direction but have now started taking what was Movicol (now compound Macrogol), in the morning and evening and that seems to have done the trick.

I was told, at my last MND assessment, that I was entitled to Continuous Attendance Allowance, or at least the higher rate, as without the use of my legs and hands I require 24/7 attendance. We filled in the forms today and will send them off when we received another form from Joanna, our MND coordinator at Addenbrooke’s. The covering letter from the Disability people warned that it could take in 11 weeks to process. You would think that they would fast track any MND applications as, certainly in some instances, 11 weeks can be a significant portion of the remainder of your life (one young man in our village died within 26 weeks of being diagnosed).

Now for something a little lighter after all that medical staff.

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use asurrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, ‘Well, I’m off now. The man should be here soon.’

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby  photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. ‘Good morning, Ma’am’, he said, ‘I’ve come to…’

Oh, no need to explain,’ Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, ‘I’ve  been expecting you.’

‘Have you really?’ said the photographer. ‘Well, that’s good. Didyou know babies are my specialty?

After a moment she asked, blushing, ‘Well, where do we start?’

‘Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn’t work out forHarry and me!’

‘Well, Ma’am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results.’

‘Ma’am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I’d love to be In and out in five minutes, but I’m sure you’d be disappointed with that.

Don’t I know it,’ said Mrs. Smith quietly

‘And these twins turned out exceptionally well – when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with..’

‘She was difficult?’ asked Mrs. Smith.

Yes, I’m afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look’

Four and five deep?’ said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

‘Yes’, the photographer replied. ‘And for more than three hours,too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling – I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.’

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. ‘Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh…equipment?’

‘It’s true, Ma’am, yes.. Well, if you’re ready, I’ll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away..’

‘Tripod?

Oh yes, Ma’am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It’s much too big to be held in the hand very long.

Mrs.Smith fainted

13 July 2011

I cannot believe that I spent the best part of the morning on the telephone to the Dragon voice activation people, YET AGAIN! This must be my fourth or fifth session with these technicians. Basically, the problem with this latest version of Dragon which, I recently installed, is that it treats my commands as text. In other words if I say ”full stop’ sometimes I it put those words in the text rather than the full stop at the end of a sentence. Similarly, when I want the microphone to switch off and say’ stop listening’ I can get those words in the text rather than the microphone going to sleep.

I have been using the Dragon voice activation system from the first day it came out in Version 1, something like 20 years ago and although the early versions were not very accurate I still thought they were pretty miraculous now. We are up up to Version 11 which I recently and updated from Premium to the Professional at a cost (to the MND Association) £437.

 

So, I am sure that you can understand my frustration when I say that this one works less satisfactoryly than theprevious version 10. The technicians I had been dealing with has shown the utmost patience in trying to get to the root of the problem by trawling through the various Dragon menus, tweaking them here and there and, in desperation, today, installing a new user with me having to train the thing all over again, and it is still not right. As a result I have yet another session, with Sayana, the technician on my case, on Friday morning, in order to report on whether the new user is any better than the original one (so far, it isn’t!)

What is so embarrassing about this whole process is that I have always been a strong advocate of this voice activation programme, for many years, and persuaded a number of friends to purchase it. I just pray that they do not experience the same frustration as I am at present as I should feel very guilty

12 July 2011

“A rose by any other name will smell as sweet…“. I’m sure Shakespeare was right so far as flowers are concerned but what about girls names?. How could anyone in their right mind saddle their daughter with a name like ‘Harper Seven’?! This is precisely what Beckham and his wife,’ Posh Spice’ have done to their newly born daughter. There are hundreds of beautiful girls names without inventing something as way out as Harper Seven. The poor girl will undoubtedly get heavily teased at school and called something like’ half past seven’ or 7.30. What is it with the Beckham’s? Even their sons have got weird names. Who on earth would want to go through life being called .Cruz?

I’m sure I heard a news flash to the effect that the Beckham’s have asked Prince William to act as godfather to their daughter. If so, I hope he will be able to find something in the Royal protocol which will allow him to gracefully decline. No future King of England should be saddled with a goddaughter with the name Harper Seven.

I have some personal experience of problems with naming one’s children. When my daughter Chloe was born we decided that her second name would be Olivia. As both children to their mother’s name, Wynn, it was not until we received a Milk Token booklet, entitling the poor little might to a small bottle of milk each day at school, that glaring at us from the front cover of this booklet were the initials C O W (Cato). We realised that we had to beat a rapid retreat and get her birth certificate altered. This is not as easy as it might sound albeit that Chloe was only a few weeks old.

I seem to remember that we had to advertise the change in the London Gazette, at the exorbitant cost (in those days) of £80 plus a modest fee from my solicitor for the advice. Olivia was swiftly replaced by Victoria (am I right in saying that this is Posh Spice’s Christian name?!). So you see Mr Beckham it is not too late for you and your wife to come to your senses and give the poor girl a name she can live with.

Right, I’ve had my rave for the day. When I been doing? Well, I scarcely need to remind my regular readers that being a Tuesday I went off to the golf club and roamed around in my electric wheelchair speaking to various mates of mine and, occasionally jocularly throwing in the odd bit of advice about their stance or swing!. I have one or two scares when I tackled some of the slopes but fortunately did not come to grief. Of course, this excellent wheelchair was never intended for cross-country obstacle racing.

At lunch I ended up with a new feeder.’Biddley’ (David Biddle) opted to sit on my right hand side where John Gray had intended to place himself in order to feed me. So, after the boys had struggled to work out how put on my apron and other protective clothing it, fell to David to raise a spoon to my mouth from time to time. I must say he did not make a bad shot of it for the first time, although, as I so rudely said to him,’ it’s a long time since you fed any of your children’. David agreed that it had been ‘a bloody long time’. Having got most of the food in my mouth and not too much in my lap, we adjourned outside for a quick puff before George came round with the wheelchair wagon to take me home.

I’m glad to say that George did not take too much urging to assist ‘my lovely’ to hoist me into my study chair and thus avoiding me waiting until the six o’clock call to be moved. I think the only reason that Alice decided to ignore Harriet’s specific injunction that she was not to use the hoist was that Althea was due mid afternoon to attend to my finger and toe nails. This then, apart from the fun I had seeing all my mates at the golf club, was my big excitement for the day!

11 July 2011

Being Monday,’ Jane that sheep’ should have been here babysitting me for three hours and so, in the middle of the day. However, as she and her partner John are languishing in deepest Wales, staying in Alice’s cottage, Paul, how lodger, the computer geek, who has become my friend, substituted for her. Consequently Paul and I enjoyed three hours or so messing about with the computer. I’m pretty sure that Paul has now crept a simplified way of embedding pictures and videos into the blog through Word rather than WordPress and he will shortly be able to give me a Mugs Guide so I can put on myself in the future.

I am almost tired, as my readers must be, of repeating the same old problems that I’m having with my Dragon voice activating programme. It is still not right and hears my commands as text. Sayana, the very patient technician at Nuance, rang again this morning and we spent another happy hour or so trying to sort out the problem until she finally gave up and admitted failure. I shall now be referred, once more, to a higher level technician who will try to get to the root of the problem on the next remote assist call.

Heard from Mick that meeting Kate, Sim and the kids had gone smoothly and they are now all safely back in Mick’s lovely lakeside house in Loa. He will return here, on 3 August, for another couple of days en rout to Australia, so I better restock my champagne! He’s certainly has a punishing travel schedule which, even with all my experience, I’m not sure that I could cope with living longer and it does not seem to be doing Mick any harm.

10 July 2011

Shortly after Sally (Murphy) –’Sally No.2′ – and Natasha had got me up, dressed and planted me in my study chair, the taxi arrived to take the good Dr to Stansted airport for his flight to Sweden. His next visit will be two for three days before he returns to Australia, at the beginning of August. (We received an e-mail from him late afternoon to say he had arrived safely and was ensconced in his hotel close to the airport. Apparently, the newlyweds Kate and Sim, arrive early tomorrow morning so Mick was hanging on to drive them to Loa)
                     
Then ‘Bill and Ben’, ourr handymen, arrived to do one or two little jobs that Alice had lined up for them.

Smiler, came to lunch and the weather was fine enough for me to go out in my electric wheelchair to have our lunch in the garden and then to enjoy a small cigar. My dear daughter-in-law, Kimberly, -who was tied up with some other business or other and therefore unable to join us – sent us a really delicious upside down pineapple and cherry cake that she had baked that very morning.

When we were driven in, from the garden, by a shower I persuaded Smiler to use the hoist to put me. back into my study chair, when he did with ease. It was just like yesterday, two naughty schoolboys doing something they shouldn’t. As this wad the second day running that I had persuaded someone totally inexperienced in using the hoist to use it to get out of my wheelchair I’m hoping that the message is sinking in with ‘my lovely ‘which will enable me to persuade her to have a go herrself and thus liberate me more regularly from my study chair.

Today saw the final demise of that rag, the News of the World, newspaper, after 168 years (not 165 as I said yesterday,) it will be no great loss although amazingly they printed 5 million copies today assuming that people would want to have a souvenir copy – no thanks!. The great media mogul himself, Rupert Murdoch, has flown in to try to rescue, or at least mitigate, the damage caused by the hacking scandal and to personally oversee the purchase of the unowned portion of BskyB. However, the plot thickens, as Murdoch himself has suggested that the matter be referred to the Monopolies Commission – which, to date, he has been fighting tooth and nail to avoid. It seems possible that he hopes that during the six months or so delay – which is the estimated time that it is thought it will take for the Monopolies Commission to come to a decision – the heat will come off News International – Murdoch’s parent company – and that people will have forgotten about the problems arising from thr telephone hacking and the News of the world. If I was Murdoch I would not be holding my breath. Of course, it could be that Murdoch is finding it difficult to lay his hands on the £5 billion to buy the shares!

 

9 July 2011

A fairly busy day. The good Dr is still here and seems to have plenty of reports to write or. correct so I did not see much of him until lunchtime. I had booked a table at the Cricketers, next door, take Mick out to lunch. We decided it was fine enough to sit outside-which meant I also able to smoke-a small cigar and although there were intermittent clouds in the sky, every now and then the odd grey one would turn up and looked rather threatening. However, we managed to get through our delicious lunch – home-made chicken and ham pie with the most delicious crispy pie across ; back to the house in the electric wheelchair and enjoyed our coffee at the picnic table before a few spots of rain drove us in. I still have a few sachets of the coffee that I had appropriated (!) from the Anantara in Thailand, last time we were together there, so. For old time sake, we made a couple of pots and even the taste of it brought back happy memories I was a little cross with Mick, having sent him into the bar to pay for lunch with my credit card he ended up paying for it himself, this this by me telling him endlessly, that his money is no good when he’s staying with us. I shall have to have a word with the proprietor, Trevor Oliver (Jamie Oliver’s dad) and ensure that the staff at the Cricketers do not allow him to use his own credit card in the future.

As we returned to the house with me driving my electric wheelchair along the pavement, we spotted our new neighbour, Luke – on whom we have called more than once, in the past, to assist getting me off the deck when I have fallen over – he’s such a nice man and is building a bungalow, on the other side of the road, opposite our front gate. He is a builder by trade and has his own business – mainly building small extension – so therefore is doing this work in his spare time and thus the progress is going in fits and starts. He told us that he got married last week and that he and his new bride will eventually move in opposite. If his wife is anything like as nice as Luke we could and not wish for better neighbours

 

Having been driven in by the spots of rain, like two naughty schoolboys we decided that Mick would hoist me into my study chair. Now, bear in mind that Harriet had given Alice strict instructions that she should not use the hoist on her own, we felt very guilty and nervous that Alice would return from shopping and catch us at it. We quickly and skilfully carried out by manoeuvre and then rushed the hoist ack to its original position and removed all evidence of our naughtiness. In the event, Alice was not at all cross. Her reason being that Mick was a doctor and should know about such things, whereas in reality, he had never used a hoist before. If only I could persuade ‘my lovely’ that it was quite safe for her to use it on her own I would get much more use out of my electric wheelchair. As it is I have to wait until lunchtime to be put into it and stay in it until the six o’clock evening call. Maybe I can have a quiet word with Harriet who I know Alice would listen to. Of course, officially, under Health and Safety Regulations the hoist has to have two persons using it but what you do in your own home is your own business!

No sooner had we settled down than, our recent the elected county councillor, Edward Oliver popped in to pick up my Tax Return papers.Edward, is an old friend who happens to have been a qualified accountant, now retired, and now I am unable to write, very kindly annually fills in my income tax form for me, from the profit and loss account that Doreen and I have prepared in the interim,

I then had another visit who will remain anonymous for the time being, as indeed will be purpose of his visit. I say that because I conceived, what I believe to be a genuine business opportunity, or as they say in business language,’ a hole in the market’, and I pitched this, to the, as yet, undisclosed person, who loved the idea as much as I do and has gone away to draw up a business plan. I will, of course, disclose the nature of this idea in due course provided, that is, I’m still alive to see it through!

For those of my readers who are cricket lovers, I have to report briefly on the deciding One Day International against Sri Lanka, England set the visiting side a reasonably modest target of 270 to win. In the event England bowled them all out 17 runs or so short of the target with a couple of overs to spare. Even Mick enjoyed the excitement of the endgame although he is not merely a cricket aficionado, more of a Tour de France, cycle race fan, so we watched that later, when we had our champagne. At the same time we raise our glasses to his daughter, Kate and Sim, who without any warning to any of the family, decided to get married this very day jail if all pragmatic reason -they have lived together for heaven knows how many years – something to do with needing to be married in order to get British passports for their two children.

 

8 July 2011

A quiet day ahead. The carers have the and done their staff, leaving me in my study in front of laptop.’ My lovely’is enjoying a rare day off and has gone to Cambridge to shop and to visit the Fitzwilliam Museum to see their current exhibition on Italian Art. The Good Doctor slts in the sitting room/bedroom above me – now known as Michael’s room – working on his reports and cocking an ear to the pager which alerts him to my needs some attention (usually a pee) .

The big news this morning is that Rupert Murdoch has pulled the plug on the News of the World newspaper and closed it down – this for a newspaper which has going for I65 years – in order not to prejudice the Monopoly Commission’s decision concerning his media empire swallowing up BskyB, or perhaps his motive was to take the heat off the CEO of News International, who was the editor of the News of the World, when the alleged hacking took place. In any event, this so-called newspaper, was no better than a scandal rag and, will not be missed except by its 1 million or so readers!! In any event,. no doubt, Murdoch, will relaunch something similar, under a different name, probably the Sunday Sun!

Rupert Murdoch is probably the greatest media mogul the world has ever seen, sadly in the UK and particularly so if you manages to take over BskyB. Will he survive this current storm and over the phone hacking or any other scandal that is media empire throws or will he end up like some of the other greatest moguls in their own fields. Here are some examples.

In 1923 who was:

      1. President of the largest steel company?
      2. President of the largest gas company?
      3. President of the New York stock Exchange?
      4. Greatest wheat speculator?
      5. President of the Bank of International Settlement?
      6. Great Bear of Wall Street?

These men were considered some of the worlds most successful of their days..

Now, 80 years later, the history book asks us, if we know what ultimately became of them..

The Answers:

1. The president of the largest steel company, Charles Schwab, died a pauper.

2. The president of the largest gas company, Edward Hopson, went insane.

3. The president of the NYSE, Richard Whitney, was released from prison to die at home.

4. The greatest wheat speculator, Arthur Cooger, died abroad, penniless.

5. The president of the Bank of International Settlement, shot himself.

6 The Great Bear of Wall Street, Cosabee Livermore, also committed suicide

However, in that same year, 1923, the PGA Champion and the winner of the most important golf tournament, the US Open, was Gene Sarazen.

What became of him?

He played golf until he was 92, died in 1999 at the age of 95.  He was financially secure at the time of his death.
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The moral is to Hell with Work play golf !!